How to Manage Family Drama at Your Wedding
We all encounter family drama at some point in our lives, granted some more than others. However, here are some tips on keeping the drama to a minimum for your big day!
Wedding Tradition Conflicts
Wedding traditions are a funny thing, some people deeply care about doing things the traditional route. While others throw caution to the wind. There are many traditional wedding routes to take such as who will be walking you down the aisle. Typically it is a father’s role to walk you down the aisle, however this is your wedding. Don’t be worried about what others will think and you are also able to squash any conflicts of who will be walking with you. If you have a father versus step-father situation, heck have both of them walk down the aisle with you! Another tradition is father/daughter dances. You can choose to have a dance with both dad and step dad, or completely avoid it all together.
Wedding Seating Conflicts
At the reception it may be difficult trying to choose where to seat everyone to avoid drama, so here are some ideas:
- Have the parents, in-laws, brothers and sisters sit with the bride and groom.
- Seat the parent’s, in-laws, brothers and sisters at a table while the bride and groom sit separate.
- If the parents and children don’t get along seat them separately.
- If the parents and in-laws don’t get along seat them separately.
- There is also a choice of sitting the parents separately and have them host of their own tables. (Typically all the aunties will migrate together while all the uncles will migrate together as well.)
- You can also divide up close friends of the parents to sit with each of them.
Typically you will work with a handful of vendors for your wedding, such as the florist, the caterer, wedding planners, etc. It is a high possibility that they have done a wedding before, so don’t be afraid to ask for help if you are feeling overwhelmed.
Their main priority is to keep the bride and groom happy on their big day. For example if you go to choose a dress and you in-law or grandmother tries to pick and pull out dresses for you, it is a good idea to let the sales-associated know that you don’t want your in-laws help. They will help you resolve the situation by letting them know that it is against store policy, which will help prevent future headaches. Don’t forget to rely on your team, they have your back and want to help! (Note: they will help you to the fullest as long as it is within their abilities and moral compass).
Delegating Wedding Tasks
Don’t be afraid to delegate! Trying to navigate both sides of the family especially when it becomes political is tricky business. Have someone you trust in your partner’s side of the family to handle certain tasks that may get a rise out of certain family members. More likely than not, they will be able to handle the family politics better than you can since they know the in’s and out’s of how the family operates. It also gives them a certain pride and allows them to be involved in the wedding planning process.
The Extreme Measures
It may be hard to admit, but if you have tried to do absolutely everything in your power to handle the situation so that no one loses or gets the short end of the stick. Yet it is not enough, it may be time to cut ties. It is a very difficult situation, however if you never even wanted to include them on the guest list in the first place, that was your first red flag. Keep in mind that this is your wedding, and unfortunately if things don’t work out, you shouldn’t force it.